"So we were very surprised when she started crawling that night!"

Tuesday, April 21, 1992

     Sirens woke me up at 6:30 this morning. They weren't in the neighborhood but the wind was probably carrying them from the station. Then the dogs started barking at 7:00. Ez. woke up at 7:30. I fixed a scrambled egg for breakfast & gave her some. She didn't like it much. She hasn't gotten any hives yet. Knock on wood. When Guy's on duty I don't use the air vent to block out noises so I can hear if someone's trying to break in. I don't think Chief would be much help if that happened. Anyway, that's why I hear all the things in the mornings, especially this one dog that apparently barks the whole time it's out in the morning.

     Back to Ez's checkup. Dr. Karp was surprised that she's made so much progress since last time. But she said Ez. would probably skip crawling all together. I'd about decided that on my own. So we were very surprised when she started crawling that night! Guy was working in the yard & instead of rolling over to the door she crawled about 3 "steps" to go look out the back door. I started pulling the blinds up partway last week so she could look outside when Chief's out there. (Only problem, he can see in.) I won't be able to pull them up during the summer cause it'll be too hot. Wish we could afford awnings.

     Anyway, Ez. is 31" – only 1/2" since 9 mos. – and 21 lbs. 6 oz. I forget what she was at 9 mo. But Dr. Karp said their growth rate does slow down now. She didn't get any shots this time but she had a TB test done. I was supposed to check it yesterday aft. & let them know if it was red or swollen. It was fine.

     We told Dr. Karp she could pull up to her knees but that if we stood her up she'd hold on & stay up awhile. She had us stand her on the floor holding on to the chair and said her ankles were turning in too much. She said we might need to see an orthopedic dr. but that it could wait til after her 15 mo. checkup. She gave us a name & the front desk gave us the address & phone no. It's over near Dr. Rand, near Leigh Mem. Hosp. I need to call just to find out if they accept Champus. If not, we can ask Dr. Karp for another dr. next time if she still thinks we need to.

     She said we could give her eggs and citrus now, waiting 2-3 days between anything now. Egg is the only thing we've tried so far. She said to keep diluting her juices and that she'd probably drink less milk now, which she was starting to do. She also said she should be off the bottle by her next checkup! Now that she's finally holding it by herself! At least she can hold her cup herself too.

"I cried of course."

Monday, April 20, 1992

     Well, Ez. turned one year old yesterday! I guess she's not a baby any more. I think she enjoyed herself this weekend. Sat. we took her to Sears first thing to have her pictures made. She fell asleep while Guy strolled around while we were waiting for them to open. We were first ones there so we had to wake her up. She did good though, better probably than if she hadn't gotten a little nap. After that we went to the ship's egg hunt & she had her picture taken with the Easter Bunny. She was smiling & laughing & waving at him until Guy put her on his lap. Then she just kind of looked at him. We got a Polaroid from them & took a picture with our camera. We stayed and had cookies & "bug juice" (Navy KoolAid). We had taken her lunch with us so when we got home she was ready for a nap.

     I finished hemming my dress while I was sitting under the hair drier. That's the first time I've rolled my hair in a long time. I need to do it tomorrow too cause she & I are having our pictures made together at Olan Mills tomorrow evening.

     Several people commented on our dresses yesterday. We had a new picture taken for the picture board. It turned out really well. She looks so cute in the bow. I'm surprised she left it on all through class and church. She wouldn't take a nap in church.

     We went out to eat after church at Spaghetti Warehouse, a new place near downtown Norfolk, across from Doumar's Drive-In. The Krebsbach's went with us, and Daniel Simpson. He brought a black guy named Bernard. The food was very good. They had gigantic glasses of tea. I had to change Ez's diaper before we left cause she pooped. She went to sleep as soon as we got home & we figured we'd have to wake her up for her party at 4:00. But she woke up around 3 or a little after.

     I'd made a microwave cake mix cause we knew we wouldn't need much. It wasn't very good. We taped the whole thing & took lots of pictures. We opened her presents before doing the cake though. Guy had put together her toy chest Sat. night. She had packages from Judy, Sue, & Deanna. Sue & Harold sent a silky flop-eared bunny that's dressed in bright clothes & a straw hat, sitting & holding a carrot and five Disney board books. Judy sent a night shirt with a bunny & lamb on it (& a matching one for me), a goose-shaped soap, & a stuffed bunny like the one on the shirt. (She also sent Guy a video of baseball bloopers). Deanna sent tow board books: God Made & Dear Gold. We also got her an Easter basket that was a sand pail & spade. It only had about four things of candy in it. We also had the present Tim & Janice sent back with us when we saw them at Thanksgiving. It was a pretty pink jumpsuit–24 mo.

     There was a fellowship after church again for the trying out preacher. We asked if everyone could sing Happy Birthday to Elizabeth. Ralph Dunbar got Ben Wilson to lead it. She knew she was the center of attention but wasn't quite sure what to make of it. I cried of course.

     It's just so hard to believe she's a whole year old now. I'll probably say the same thing every year. One thing I'm glad about is finally being able to fulfill the dream of having matching mother/daughter dresses. So even if she doesn't look like me at least we were dressed alike Sun. (& will be in our pictures tomorrow).

     I need to write about her checkup but I need to try to get sleepy. I still have trouble going to sleep when Guy's on duty.

April 19, 1992

"This has been a long week."

Thursday, April 16, 1992

     This has been a long week. I've spent most of my "spare" time working on our Easter dresses. I got hers done Mon. & started on mine. I just pinned the hem up tonight. Need to press it, finish the edge, & hem it. I also made a headband w/ bows for her. When I tried it on her & showed her in the mirror she seemed to like it. Don't know how long she'll actually leave it on. She looks so cute in her dress & the headband. And we went to Walmart Tues. and got her some white shoes. I wanted white patent leather but they didn't have the size she needed. We discovered she wears size 3. We got some white leather ones with two straps so maybe she won't be able to get them off. I just wonder what she'll think of them.

     We haven't had much time together this week. Guy went to the elders & deacons meeting Tues. night to just sit in & listen to find out what's going on. Wed. night he had his architectural committee meeting. Sun. & tonight he had duty. Without taking naps, except maybe twice, and being up late almost every night I'm just so tired. It'll be better when I'm not trying to get so much sewing done and can take naps. I don't know how I'm going to make it a whole month without Guy though.

     When I was brushing Ez's teeth tonight she was fighting me so much & I laid her back on my lap to do it. I checked to see if that last molar was coming in yet and it's still just a little bump. But there was also a little bump there for her eye tooth. So I decided to check the other spaces and found a tooth on the top right! It must have been there awhile cause it looks like it's about halfway out. Maybe Dr. Karp can tell by looking how long it's been there. I guess I need to be more diligent about checking them but she fights me so much any more.

"I really do hate him having duty every four nights."

Saturday, April 11, 1992

     We went to Jodie Rowland's & Gary Ansbach's wedding today. It was nice, but very tiring. She'd invited Ez. too. No problem, except that later she asked Guy if he'd tape the wedding. Ez. did pretty good during the ceremony except for throwing her bottle down once. I'd taken 3 juice bottles & some triscuits & she drank all the juice–1 1/2 during the wedding & the rest at the reception. She ate 2-3 crackers and some cheese they had at the reception. Guy was still taping except for taking a few minutes to eat. I tried to get Ez. to go to sleep when she started getting tired but there was too much going on. The worst part was when we were standing outside waiting for them to leave. My arm was dead by the time it was all over. She fell asleep for maybe 2 min. just before Guy was able to take her. She stayed awake all the way home but she & I both took a nap.

     I slept til nearly 6:00 & she slept til about 6:20. It's 10:00 now & she's fighting going to sleep.

     It's been so hot the past few days–high 70s-low 80s. I finally talked Guy into turning the air conditioner on last night. There's a nice breeze but I didn't want to open the windows cause there's tons of pollen in the air.

     I skipped my naps yesterday & worked on her dress while she was asleep. It's almost done. Needs hemming, buttons, the bow, & elastic in the sleeves. If I can finish hers tomorrow I can get started on mine Mon. Guy has duty tomorrow though so I'll probably be too tired to work on it. I really do hate him having duty every four nights.

     I don't think I mentioned that they're supposed to be gone during August. They're towing a submarine down to & through the Panama Canal. Another ship is meeting them & towing it to somewhere on the west coast. I forget where he said.

     I don't think I mentioned that Ez. started creeping Wed. That's when they kind of scoot along on their stomach, pushing with their legs/feet & pulling with their elbows. Dr. Karp should be please at her 12 mo. checkup Friday about that and that she's pulling up to her knees. She might even make more progress by then.

"All I could do was grunt."

Wed., April 8, 1992

     Ez. slept til 8 the past two morning. That was nice. But she hasn't been taking good naps. It's like she just wants to wait til nearly lunchtime to go to sleep then doesn't want an aft. nap til almost suppertime. Today I kept her up all morning & she went to sleep right after lunch, 12:30. I figured she'd take a long nap but it was 2:38 when she woke up. I had dozed some during my story & was just getting really to sleep when she woke up. She's already woke up a couple of times tonight. I checked her diaper, rocked her once, then let her cry herself to sleep about 10 min. Hopefully she'll sleep all night. She woke up last night but we were still up & Guy was in there almost 30 minutes. She woke up once overnight but went right back to sleep but I couldn't go back to sleep for nearly 1 1/2 hrs.

     Guy's ship went to the yards for 2 mos. yesterday in Portsmouth. They had a bus take them back to the base for their vehicles. He got home about the regular time. They're supposed to get off work at 4:00 while they're in the yards. Since he's got duty today we'll have to wait til tomorrow to see what time he gets home.

     I finally got started sewing on Ez's dress last night & did a little tonight. I don't know if I'm going to get them both done or not. The sewing machine is sure different since the tuneup. Everything's so tight. I have to really push down hard to reverse. But the fabric feeds through so much better with the new feed dogs. Guy did have to adjust those for me cause they were hitting against the cover plate and making it come up. It's ok now.

     This morning Ez. & I went to Office Warehouse to get a multi strike ribbon for  the word processor. I also stopped at Lens Crafters to get my glasses adjusted–again. It was a really nice day out yesterday & today–in the 70's. I strolled Ez. to get the mail & went to the corner of Windbrooke & back.

     I went to the dentist yesterday aft. Barb was substitute teaching this week so I had to take Ez. with me. I put her in the stroller. She did pretty well til it got to be too long. I gave her a bottle of juice but she wouldn't hold it herself. It would've helped if the hygienist had talked to her some. All I could do was grunt. I tried clapping hands but that didn't last long. She did well overall though I guess. At least they didn't tell me to never bring her in again.    

April 6, 1992

"She slept through the whole thing!"

Sunday, April 5, 1992

     Daylight Savings Time started last night & I really miss that lost hour. It might not have been so bad if Guy hadn't had duty & I had to watch TV late to go to sleep. Didn't get much of a nap this aft. cause the phone rang & I couldn't get back to sleep. It was Mercedes Hitchcock returning my call from last wk. They were out of town. I was inviting her to Jodie Rowland's shower. It was a brunch here yesterday morning. Cathy Schweitzer did most of the work–I just provided the house. There were 15 people there. It went pretty well. Cathy, Ruby Hopper & Merryl Gallahar came early to set up. I'd just put Ez. down for a nap but she was crying–fighting it. I fixed her a bottle of juice & told them to go ahead & do whatever they needed to set up while I took care of Ez. She went to sleep about 9:45, by the time she finished the juice. I turned her humidifier on & closed her door completely. I had the monitor downstairs. She slept through the whole thing! I went & got her up at noon as things were winding down. So everyone got to see her for at least a little bit. Chief stayed outside the whole time. He did try to get in a few times but most people didn't notice it. He didn't go as crazy as I thought he would when he came in & could smell everyone's scent.

     We didn't have to go out any yesterday cause Guy got a paper & brought it back before he went to work. She took a nap in the aft. but instead of napping I watched a tape–Narrow Margin. It was a good suspense movie. Last night I took my bath with her. She didn't seem to mind to much. She went to sleep around 8:30. She woke up around 3 something for almost an hour. I checked her diaper & it was ok so I just let her cry herself back to sleep. I sure didn't want to get up when my alarm went off this morning. We were almost ready when Guy got home so we weren't too late.

     We got our first ding in the car on the front passenger side door. The Wilsons parked next to us & when Josh opened his door it hit ours & left dark blue paint on it. We already have some touch up paint but Guy needs to wash the car before we can use it.

"I just feel like I'm in over my head being a mother..."

Saturday, April 4, 1992

     Ez. has been waking up at anytime between 6–6:30 the past few days. Sometimes she takes a good nap, sometimes she doesn't. At least she's over her cold. And I'm surprised I didn't catch it. She slept through the night last night but she was up several times the night before. She was up that night before we went to sleep & it was really getting to me. Guy said it seemed like I was upset at Ez. a lot. I told him it wasn't fair that when she goes to sleep, I have things to get done and when I'm finally ready to go to sleep she wakes up. And that it's upsetting when she shows an obvious preference for him instead of me. He said it's just that she's gotten used to him putting her to bed. We decided to take turns putting her to bed every other night.

     He'd said something Sun. about the next time he had a free weekend I need to go away because he thought something was bothering me & that it was Ez. I didn't really respond to that til later. I'm not sure if it was that night or another night. I asked him if he really thought I ought to go away & he said he didn't mean it that way. That he thought I needed a break & that I didn't seem happy anymore. I don't remember what all he said now but so many things he said were things I've written about before that I wondered if he'd read my journals. I asked him the next day if he had & why and he said no but he might sometime cause he didn't know what I was thinking any more. Anyway, I asked him where could or would I go & he said wherever I wanted & where would I like to go. I honestly don't know. I just feel like I'm in over my head being a mother and I'm not going to be able to dig my way out for a long time – if ever. I want to write a lot more than I have time to. I'm just so tired any more. Even when I take naps when she does, it just seems like I can never get enough sleep. And it's so hard to take care of her because she's just so heavy, even just picking her up is hard. Not to mention carrying her up the stairs. It's so hard to sing to her. I run out of breath and have to cough so much. And I don't have time to do my Tobra maybe a third of the time. I just need more time. More time to sleep–more time to clean house, more time & energy to take care of her, more time with Guy alone. It's been almost 2 months since we've been out alone. I need time to sew. Our Easter dresses are cut out but I haven't sewn a stitch on either one.