Saturday, Feb. 23, 1991 (Part 1)
Tues., Wed., & Thu. night I slept better than I have in a long time. I remember waking up a time or two each night and looking at the clock but apparently went right back to sleep. I slept an average of 11:30-7:30 -- eight hours! It was nice. We'd get up at 8 or 8:30 eat & get a couple things done before Guy left. Strange thing was, on the days after sleeping better I felt more like I needed a nap in the afternoon. Last night it was back to the previous routine. I just couldn't get comfortable or else was wheezing. I was awake from 2:48 - about 5:00. But we didn't wake up til 9:30 or so. I just dozed on the couch for a little while this aft.
I need to back up & fill in on what all's been going on.
Deanna brought my dress over after work one day week before last but I didn't get started on it til this past Wed. The top is done as of last night. I want to try & add pockets to the skirt but haven't gone through my scraps yet for thinner fabric. She cuts things weird. It's velour & everything was cut with the nap running up instead of down. And she cut the notches into the seam allowance instead of away from it. I didn't have any problems with that except that when I was putting the waistband/tie on the top, all the notch cuttings end up being on the wrong side. I just folded it over & transferred the notches by marking them with chalk. I shouldn't complain cause it was a big help having her cut it out for me. I should have it finished in time for Rob & Gina's wedding -- a week from today.
Guy took me to Quilt Works for their big fabric sale on the 13th. The discount depended on how much fabric you purchased. I got about 10 yds. total & it was 25% off. Still spent over $40. Guy didn't seem too upset. I got fabric to make the cover, etc. for a baby basket, a diaper stacker, and bumper pads. It's mostly the fabric that's the quilt backing. I got extra of it because the bolt was almost empty. I've been working on the quilt when I watch TV downstairs & have all the quilting done. When I cut the batting even with the top I discovered that the backing was pulled up unevenly. It looks ok on the back but especially on one corner, there's not enough to turn over the front and the opposite side had lots extra. I'll have to cheat and add extra fabric to the short part. I'll take it to the store to show Charlotte when it's done to see what I did wrong.
Last Sat. Guy had the day off and we spent some time working in the front bedroom. He put all the xmas stuff back in the attic and we basically got the day bed mostly cleaned off. Now it's got stuff to be ironed on it. But I feel like we've made a little progress.
I entered a contest in Women's Day for having your bedroom redecorated. You had to send in some pictures of the room and an essay describing your problems & ideas for solutions. I was really going to town writing and when I counted the words I was way over the limit of 250 or less. So I had to really cut it up to get it down to the right length. I'll probably only get 4th prize: a decorating book. The winners are supposed to be notified by May 15. It would be so nice to win!
Tues. night was Michelle Forsythe's bridal shower at Gayle's. She liked my present. I got a heart-shaped gathering ring, put fabric strips around it in roses & white, then cross-stitched their names & date on a rectangular "stuff & puff" and hung it in the center of the heart, put white & rose ribbons of different sizes in a bow in the center top & put a plastic ring on the back for hanging. It turned out very nice if I do say so myself. Since Guy was working I drove myself over there -- no problem.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
"...the baby...will need something of her own to collect."
Tuesday, Feb. 12, 1991 (Part 2)
I called Ann Prescott today to let her know how we're doing and find out how everyone else is. She said that last night Cathy Rudolph missed for the first time. And that Brigett hasn't come since xmas. Dec. 28 was her anniversary date & she told Ann that since then she's felt much better & feels she's ready to go on & doesn't need the group any more. Kim & Ron are pregnant again but haven't been to the group lately. I told her if she talks to them again to give Kim my number to call me.
Ann asked if I would be interested in a daytime group for women going through pregnancy after a loss. I said sure. She said she'd ask the others & let me know if it happens. Also, Jeffrey, the chaplain, isn't working with the group any more. At one meeting he told someone who was expressing a lot of anger toward their doctor that they needed psychiatric help. He also made some other comments at the same meeting (she didn't say what) and she had several complaints from people saying they wouldn't be back because of what he'd said. So she told him that it just wouldn't work out for him to stay with the group. She's not really looking for anyone to take his place, that if she got someone else it would be someone who has either been through a loss of their own or has experience working with people in these situations.
I've been sleeping about the same - waking up around 4:00 or 5:00 either because A) I need to go to the bathroom, B) my hip is aching so bad, or C) I'm wheezing or coughing. I am still wheezing quite a bit on my left side and every once in awhile on my right side. I am better than I was while I was sick but I'm not quite up to par again yet. Now that I'm in the last trimester though I probably won't get back up to par for a LONG time.
I've kept putting off getting started on a new dress for Rob & Gina's wedding next month. It's the one I was fixing to start on when I had the miscarriage & had put it away. I'd decided to make it to wear for our anniversary but just didn't get to it. Then I decided to do it for the wedding & got all the pattern pieces ironed & looked over the directions. Once I saw that most of the pattern had to be laid out on a single layer & flipped over, I started dreading it and putting it off. I thought about calling Jan Faulkner to see how much she'd charge to cut it out for me. But I thought how much of a hassle it would be to get it to her & back. So I decided to see if Deanna Oliver could do it for me. She said she'd do it for nothing so I took it to her at church Sun. She's going to bring it by after work when she's done - one day this week. Hopefully, sewing it won't be too hard. It didn't bother me sewing the pillow for Rob & Gina.
I went to a coupon sale at Piece Goods last week. I'd already gotten a pattern for maternity jumpsuit, pants, blouse, & top. I got fabric for the pants & jumpsuit and 2 tops. I'd picked out fabric from the remnant table for the blouse but there wasn't a piece big enough. I'd taken the pattern & directions out of the envelope or I could have laid it out to see how much I'd need off a second piece. But I had to put it back. With the fabric, plus fabric for Michele Forsythe's wedding shower present, plus some DMC and a few odds & ends, I spent $45, about $15 more than I'd planned. I'm going to Quilt Works' fabric sale tomorrow to get fabric like the quilt to make other stuff for the nursery. I'm afraid it'll still be expensive on sale. But hopefully not as expensive as buying everything in a store. Oh, we finally decided on a theme last night - hearts. I think even Guy expected me to want bunnies. But I figure I'll still be collecting rabbits and the baby will eventually get them anyway that she'll need something of her own to collect.
I called Ann Prescott today to let her know how we're doing and find out how everyone else is. She said that last night Cathy Rudolph missed for the first time. And that Brigett hasn't come since xmas. Dec. 28 was her anniversary date & she told Ann that since then she's felt much better & feels she's ready to go on & doesn't need the group any more. Kim & Ron are pregnant again but haven't been to the group lately. I told her if she talks to them again to give Kim my number to call me.
Ann asked if I would be interested in a daytime group for women going through pregnancy after a loss. I said sure. She said she'd ask the others & let me know if it happens. Also, Jeffrey, the chaplain, isn't working with the group any more. At one meeting he told someone who was expressing a lot of anger toward their doctor that they needed psychiatric help. He also made some other comments at the same meeting (she didn't say what) and she had several complaints from people saying they wouldn't be back because of what he'd said. So she told him that it just wouldn't work out for him to stay with the group. She's not really looking for anyone to take his place, that if she got someone else it would be someone who has either been through a loss of their own or has experience working with people in these situations.
I've been sleeping about the same - waking up around 4:00 or 5:00 either because A) I need to go to the bathroom, B) my hip is aching so bad, or C) I'm wheezing or coughing. I am still wheezing quite a bit on my left side and every once in awhile on my right side. I am better than I was while I was sick but I'm not quite up to par again yet. Now that I'm in the last trimester though I probably won't get back up to par for a LONG time.
I've kept putting off getting started on a new dress for Rob & Gina's wedding next month. It's the one I was fixing to start on when I had the miscarriage & had put it away. I'd decided to make it to wear for our anniversary but just didn't get to it. Then I decided to do it for the wedding & got all the pattern pieces ironed & looked over the directions. Once I saw that most of the pattern had to be laid out on a single layer & flipped over, I started dreading it and putting it off. I thought about calling Jan Faulkner to see how much she'd charge to cut it out for me. But I thought how much of a hassle it would be to get it to her & back. So I decided to see if Deanna Oliver could do it for me. She said she'd do it for nothing so I took it to her at church Sun. She's going to bring it by after work when she's done - one day this week. Hopefully, sewing it won't be too hard. It didn't bother me sewing the pillow for Rob & Gina.
I went to a coupon sale at Piece Goods last week. I'd already gotten a pattern for maternity jumpsuit, pants, blouse, & top. I got fabric for the pants & jumpsuit and 2 tops. I'd picked out fabric from the remnant table for the blouse but there wasn't a piece big enough. I'd taken the pattern & directions out of the envelope or I could have laid it out to see how much I'd need off a second piece. But I had to put it back. With the fabric, plus fabric for Michele Forsythe's wedding shower present, plus some DMC and a few odds & ends, I spent $45, about $15 more than I'd planned. I'm going to Quilt Works' fabric sale tomorrow to get fabric like the quilt to make other stuff for the nursery. I'm afraid it'll still be expensive on sale. But hopefully not as expensive as buying everything in a store. Oh, we finally decided on a theme last night - hearts. I think even Guy expected me to want bunnies. But I figure I'll still be collecting rabbits and the baby will eventually get them anyway that she'll need something of her own to collect.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
"Am I really ready for this?"
Tuesday, Feb. 12, 1991 (Part 1)
Yesterday we saw Dr. Rand and had another ultrasound. The girl said I'm right at 30 wks. My due date is April 22, a Monday. At first she said the baby was breech & I thought 'oh no, I don't want to have to have a c-section.' I asked if it was too late for it to tun around before delivery & she said 'no, there's plenty of time.' I had gained 3/4 lb. since last time, not bad considering I'd lost some while I was sick. I was hoping to at least break even. Then she was talking about how much the baby was moving & I asked where the head was and she said, 'well, it was down & now it's over here - wait, she just flipped over to the other side.' So no telling how she'll end up. Yes, she did say it's a girl, not from looking between the legs but she showed us the vagina. I asked Guy later if he could tell what she was talking about & he couldn't either. Maybe when we look at the tape again. She said the baby's weight was 3 lbs 8 oz.
I was thinking about what she said about the baby moving around so much. I asked Guy last night if that would make it more likely for her to get the cord tangled up. He said I shouldn't start worrying about that & that I'm thinking that things are going too well, & that "something" will go wrong. He's probably right. I told him the other night that I didn't want to complain but sometimes I feel like I wish it was over. But then I also think 'am I really ready for this?' Our lives will never be the same again. But if something were to go wrong I know I'd be devastated. I just seem to have such mixed feelings about it any more. There's so much to do to get ready for a baby, I don't know if we can have the room ready in 10 wks. And what if she comes early? If only Guy could get some time off. But he's got to save it for when the baby comes. This evening shift just doesn't give us enough time for much more than the bare necessities. And sometimes not even that. So I don't know when he's going to be able to help me get the nursery ready.
I called Mercedes Hitchcock last night. She wasn't at church Sun. & I knew she was having an ultrasound yesterday too. Guy said Glen had said he made her stay home cause she was really tired. Well, that's not the whole story. She's been ordered to stay on complete bed rest. Friday she lost all her amniotic fluid. Her cervix is still closed & the babes still alive but there's no guarantee. She said that she's still producing amniotic fluid & has to wait & see if it builds back up or continues losing it. Dr. Berenger told her that somehow her membrane ruptured & that sometimes they can heal themselves & sometimes they don't. I asked if he gave her any kind of time frame that it should heal up & she said no. She's supposed to go back next Mon. unless something else happens between now & then. She didn't sound too optimistic - I think she's resigned to the fact that she'll lose this one too. I really didn't know what to say. I asked if I could bring her something to read & she said she's got magazines piled up that she can read. She said Glenn's taking good care of her. I said I'd call later this week to check on her. I meant to call Dianna at the office today to ask her to be sure & call me if anything happens cause I don't think Glenn would call us. I don't know what to do if she loses it. I'd want to go see her but she might not want to see me. I know when I had the miscarriage I didn't want to see any pregnant women, especially the ones I know. It just wouldn't be fair for her to lose this one. She's already lost two. Hopefully she would be willing to try going to Empty Arms. But I truly hope it doesn't come to that.
Yesterday we saw Dr. Rand and had another ultrasound. The girl said I'm right at 30 wks. My due date is April 22, a Monday. At first she said the baby was breech & I thought 'oh no, I don't want to have to have a c-section.' I asked if it was too late for it to tun around before delivery & she said 'no, there's plenty of time.' I had gained 3/4 lb. since last time, not bad considering I'd lost some while I was sick. I was hoping to at least break even. Then she was talking about how much the baby was moving & I asked where the head was and she said, 'well, it was down & now it's over here - wait, she just flipped over to the other side.' So no telling how she'll end up. Yes, she did say it's a girl, not from looking between the legs but she showed us the vagina. I asked Guy later if he could tell what she was talking about & he couldn't either. Maybe when we look at the tape again. She said the baby's weight was 3 lbs 8 oz.
I was thinking about what she said about the baby moving around so much. I asked Guy last night if that would make it more likely for her to get the cord tangled up. He said I shouldn't start worrying about that & that I'm thinking that things are going too well, & that "something" will go wrong. He's probably right. I told him the other night that I didn't want to complain but sometimes I feel like I wish it was over. But then I also think 'am I really ready for this?' Our lives will never be the same again. But if something were to go wrong I know I'd be devastated. I just seem to have such mixed feelings about it any more. There's so much to do to get ready for a baby, I don't know if we can have the room ready in 10 wks. And what if she comes early? If only Guy could get some time off. But he's got to save it for when the baby comes. This evening shift just doesn't give us enough time for much more than the bare necessities. And sometimes not even that. So I don't know when he's going to be able to help me get the nursery ready.
I called Mercedes Hitchcock last night. She wasn't at church Sun. & I knew she was having an ultrasound yesterday too. Guy said Glen had said he made her stay home cause she was really tired. Well, that's not the whole story. She's been ordered to stay on complete bed rest. Friday she lost all her amniotic fluid. Her cervix is still closed & the babes still alive but there's no guarantee. She said that she's still producing amniotic fluid & has to wait & see if it builds back up or continues losing it. Dr. Berenger told her that somehow her membrane ruptured & that sometimes they can heal themselves & sometimes they don't. I asked if he gave her any kind of time frame that it should heal up & she said no. She's supposed to go back next Mon. unless something else happens between now & then. She didn't sound too optimistic - I think she's resigned to the fact that she'll lose this one too. I really didn't know what to say. I asked if I could bring her something to read & she said she's got magazines piled up that she can read. She said Glenn's taking good care of her. I said I'd call later this week to check on her. I meant to call Dianna at the office today to ask her to be sure & call me if anything happens cause I don't think Glenn would call us. I don't know what to do if she loses it. I'd want to go see her but she might not want to see me. I know when I had the miscarriage I didn't want to see any pregnant women, especially the ones I know. It just wouldn't be fair for her to lose this one. She's already lost two. Hopefully she would be willing to try going to Empty Arms. But I truly hope it doesn't come to that.
Friday, February 10, 2012
"Now that the baby is getting bigger I think it's starting to press up on my diaphragm"
Tuesday, Feb. 5, 1991 (Part 4)
Academy started sending us letters around the holidays saying they weren't paying any more on any fertility claims because of a one-year limit on any one illness. Neither of us remembered anything about that so I looked up the policy & sure enough, that's what it says. But they were basing the date on the charge that was put on our account by mistake in July '89. Our treatments began in Sept. '89. We went back & forth with them for awhile & finally they sent us a letter saying they were going back to a date in Dec. '85 as when we first had claims for fertility treatments. I haven't looked it up but that's probably when we first saw Dr. Berenger. So they said that ever other year from that date are the times they've paid & will pay for anything having to do with fertility. Thankfully that covers all the treatments at the Jones' Institute. But now I'm afraid they'll come back & say they paid some claims they shouldn't have and want the money back.
Guy went to sick call one day last month and had his blood sugar checked. They said it was borderline & to come back in a month. He also asked them about a knot he's been feeling in his left arm--above his elbow on the inside. They gave him an appt. at PNH on the 16th to have that checked but he had to cancel that when the ASF got activated. He had hoped that it or his blood sugar would keep him from having to go to the Persian Gulf. Hopefully he won't have to worry about that now though. I figured it out on our anniversary that the reason he'd been "going off his diet" for the past few months was to see if his blood sugar would go up enough to keep him from being sent over. He'd been telling me that he was working on a plan to keep from going but that if it backfired he might get kicked out of the Navy. I'd imagined all sorts of horrible things so I was relieved to find out what his plan was. I don't know when he'll be able to go back for another blood check or to have his arm checked.
Yesterday was the first time I'd been out with Chief for quite awhile. We went to the mailbox. He did so-so. Guy hasn't had time to work with him lately. He's wanting to go running with him in the mornings while he's on the eve watch but hasn't yet.
Ever since we went to the mailbox yesterday I've had this pain in my right side off & on, mostly off, like a stitch from walking or running too much. It was hurting again after going to the commissary this morning so I guess it's just from overdoing. It's getting harder to get comfortable, not only to sleep but just even sitting on the couch. Now that the baby is getting bigger I think it's starting to press up on my diaphragm. It's easier to breathe laying on my right side because I don't wheeze but it seems like it's harder to take deep enough breaths. When I lay on my left side I can breathe deeper but I'm still wheezing quite a bit on that side. Sometimes I can lay flat for a little while but I usually have to prop up one way or another. If we do my therapy just before I go to sleep I just stay on my pillow(s) as long as I can. But then my neck starts hurting. We put that quilted snuggle bag on my side of the bed & also got the inflatable neck pillow to use. Sometimes they help, sometimes they don't.
Academy started sending us letters around the holidays saying they weren't paying any more on any fertility claims because of a one-year limit on any one illness. Neither of us remembered anything about that so I looked up the policy & sure enough, that's what it says. But they were basing the date on the charge that was put on our account by mistake in July '89. Our treatments began in Sept. '89. We went back & forth with them for awhile & finally they sent us a letter saying they were going back to a date in Dec. '85 as when we first had claims for fertility treatments. I haven't looked it up but that's probably when we first saw Dr. Berenger. So they said that ever other year from that date are the times they've paid & will pay for anything having to do with fertility. Thankfully that covers all the treatments at the Jones' Institute. But now I'm afraid they'll come back & say they paid some claims they shouldn't have and want the money back.
Guy went to sick call one day last month and had his blood sugar checked. They said it was borderline & to come back in a month. He also asked them about a knot he's been feeling in his left arm--above his elbow on the inside. They gave him an appt. at PNH on the 16th to have that checked but he had to cancel that when the ASF got activated. He had hoped that it or his blood sugar would keep him from having to go to the Persian Gulf. Hopefully he won't have to worry about that now though. I figured it out on our anniversary that the reason he'd been "going off his diet" for the past few months was to see if his blood sugar would go up enough to keep him from being sent over. He'd been telling me that he was working on a plan to keep from going but that if it backfired he might get kicked out of the Navy. I'd imagined all sorts of horrible things so I was relieved to find out what his plan was. I don't know when he'll be able to go back for another blood check or to have his arm checked.
Yesterday was the first time I'd been out with Chief for quite awhile. We went to the mailbox. He did so-so. Guy hasn't had time to work with him lately. He's wanting to go running with him in the mornings while he's on the eve watch but hasn't yet.
Ever since we went to the mailbox yesterday I've had this pain in my right side off & on, mostly off, like a stitch from walking or running too much. It was hurting again after going to the commissary this morning so I guess it's just from overdoing. It's getting harder to get comfortable, not only to sleep but just even sitting on the couch. Now that the baby is getting bigger I think it's starting to press up on my diaphragm. It's easier to breathe laying on my right side because I don't wheeze but it seems like it's harder to take deep enough breaths. When I lay on my left side I can breathe deeper but I'm still wheezing quite a bit on that side. Sometimes I can lay flat for a little while but I usually have to prop up one way or another. If we do my therapy just before I go to sleep I just stay on my pillow(s) as long as I can. But then my neck starts hurting. We put that quilted snuggle bag on my side of the bed & also got the inflatable neck pillow to use. Sometimes they help, sometimes they don't.
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