"She almost choked once though & scared me to death."

Tuesday, February 25, 1992

     Sunday was the Pugh's last day here. They should be in Searcy by now. I didn't cry as much as I thought I would. Lots of people did though.

     Guy had duty again yesterday. Elizabeth did pretty good. I gave her some peanut butter on a piece of rice cake. She liked it. She almost choked once though & scared me to death. She went to bed ok but woke up when the phone rang & took awhile to get back to sleep completely. (Eddy was calling to tell Guy happy birthday.) She woke up at 4:04 but went right back to sleep when I got her pacifier in her mouth. I didn't go back to sleep til almost 6:30 though. Then she woke up at 7:13 and wouldn't sleep any more. I took a nap when she did but only drifted really. She only slept an hour because she pooped. She was really tired & went right to sleep at 1:00. I slept for about 45 minutes after my story went off. She slept til 4:00. Guy got home around 3:40 or so.

     We went out for supper for his birthday at Denny's. He asked about their free birthday dinner, saying he had duty yesterday. The waitress said he couldn't get it but when they added the check up at the register he did get it free. So that was nice.

     It was a gloomy day yesterday and today. It's supposed to clear up tomorrow afternoon. It's been pretty foggy, especially when we were out tonight but that was better when it rained on the way home.

     We went to K-Mart to get a couple of things we can't find at Wal-Mart – an additive for Chief's water to "deodorize" him and the kind of photo album we like. They had all sorts of albums but not the ones we wanted. I saved the label from the last one cause it was hard to find them too. The outside looked the same but these pages were flimsy. There was one there with the right kind of pages but the pockets were for the jumbo size prints. So maybe they're just out of them. We also got Ez. a new sleeper. Actually I think it's footed pajamas. She's outgrowing her winter ones. This is kind of medium weight. We have one light weight one she needs to grow into. When summer comes we're going to have to get a lot of new clothes for her or I'm going to have to do a lot of sewing.

     I don't think I mentioned that the other day I finished a long-sleeved onesie for her except for the snaps. It's white with pink bunnies on it. The only thing left that's cut out is a plaid shirt to go with her burgundy overalls and a little bunny to fit in the overall pocket. Anyway, when I was doing the last bit of sewing on the onesie I was really having a hard time getting the fabric to move along. I kept adjusting the pressure on the presser foot but it didn't seem to make a difference. When I finished I saw the problem. The feed is made of rubber and the middle part had a big chunk missing and the bare metal was showing. I knew they were worn down but now I guess they'll have to be replaced. I hope it doesn't cost too much. I hope it can be done – the machine is almost 18 years old! Mom & Daddy got it for me for my high school graduation present. It was the best of the Singers then. That was just before they came out with the electronic ones and the free arm. That sure would come in handy for sewing Guy's patches on his uniform sleeves. I'm in the process of replacing all his SIMA patches with Opportune patches.

     I'd hoped to go to bed early tonight but Ez. had a hard time going to sleep tonight. I ended up rocking her laying on her back in my lap. But she's so long now I had to pull her bottom up on my stomach a little ways & hold on to her legs to keep her head from hanging off. A strange position but it put her to sleep. Guy was asleep within seconds. He said he was up working til midnight last night. I was up til 12:30 watching the Tonight show so I could get sleepy enough. That's what I used to do when Guy was at sea. But then, I could sleep as late as I wanted to in those days.

     Today's bottles had the last of the Similac in them. Ez. will be on straight milk from now on. We still have to warm her bottles up some but are gradually reducing the length of time we warm them. We got another sipper cup for her to try but she didn't like it. It has a gasket to control the amount of flow so if it's overturned it only drips out. But you have to suck on it to get anything out and she won't do that. Maybe because the first cup we got her she didn't have to suck on, it just came out. We may have to break down & buy the expensive one Dr. Karp recommended. I tried her feeding bowl with Cheerios in it but she just got a handful out and slung them all around. At Denny's I took food & a bottle to give her then we gave her some green beans & fries. She only took a few bites of each. She enjoyed watching all the other people though.

"Anyway, it hasn't been that great a day for me."

Saturday, February 22, 1992

     Since it's Saturday, Ez. woke up early – a little after 7:00. Guess who got up with her! I sure wish I could sleep through noise like Guy does. The times he did get up with her when he was on leave so I could sleep late, I woke up anyway cause I almost always hear her before he does. He'll probably want tomorrow afternoon too. I'll never get to sleep late again.

     We spent most of the day cleaning house. I'd hoped we'd get done in time to go to the mall for a little while. Ha! I don't know why Guy takes his time when he's cleaning. I'd rather get it over & done with & he just takes his time – when he even gets started. I was up here getting things out of the way so he could dust & vacuum, assuming he was busy downstairs. When I went down there he was laid back on the couch watching TV! I've been grumpy all day but that just about made me blow my top. I didn't really holler at him but he knew I was mad. I made a point later about thanking him for helping clean house today. (He cleaned the shower curtain too.) I told him that it seemed like no matter how much we accomplish I still feel like there's so much more that still needs to be done. He asked like what & I said all the stuff on the list. He just made a funny noise & walked off. Well, at least the house is clean. It doesn't look like it cause it's so junky. I just don't know where to put all the stuff we've got. I packed most of my bunnies but there are still quite a few out. I'm thinking about just packing them all up so we don't have to worry about dusting them. Guy rearranged them when he dusted but I don't know why he won't admit it. Sometimes it seems like he does things to annoy me on purpose.

     We tried feeding Ez. lunch from a little suction bowl we got at Farm Fresh. It wasn't a good idea. She just wanted to stick her hands in it then sling it around. We need to just give her things she can eat with her hands. She's not ready to learn how to eat with a spoon.

     She didn't take good naps today, probably because we were moving around so much. She got her bath on time though. She was rolling all over the floor in our room afterwards, laying down and sitting herself up over & over again. She's really gotten good at that. When we went back downstairs Guy went out to watch COPS while I started working on making stuff for the congregational fellowship tomorrow – carrot cake & potato salad. I was trying to watch the exhibition skating of the Olympic winners but that was hard to do. Once I got the cake in the oven I started peeling potatoes. Ez. was getting fussy. Guy had already given her a bottle. I told Guy I'd take her after I finished the potato I was working on. He said he could put her to bed & I said he's miss COPS. He said he could miss a few minutes of it. I said ok. A few minutes later he got up but instead of taking her up he just walked around with her, still watching TV. When I finally finished the potatoes & got them on the stove, I went to get her & told him what timers were for what & he said ok. I was halfway down the hall & asked if he wanted to say goodnight & he just hollered it from the couch. Sometimes I think his priorities are 1) TV 2) Elizabeth 3) me.

     It didn't take long to get her to bed. I took the monitor back down with me & it didn't take too long for her to go to sleep. After his precious show was over he came & helped me fix the potato salad. Then he loaded the dishwasher and started it. I asked if that could wait a little but he started it anyway. Then he went out to watch TV again – I don't know what – while I was stuck in the kitchen, waiting for the cake to finish, then for it to cool off enough to take it out of the pan, trying to watch the skating on the tiny black & white TV, with the dishwasher roaring in my ear. After I turned the cake out I told him I was coming upstairs. I watched the skating (& some skiing) while I was under the hair dryer, using the earphone for the TV. I should've written this while the skiing was on but I didn't feel like getting up to get the notebook. To dry my hair I have to sit in the floor by the closets with the TV pillow. I need to figure out an easier way but all the outlets are blocked.

     Anyway, it hasn't been that great a day for me. Like I said, no matter how much we get done, we're never going to get caught up.

"I just hope he doesn't end up like Mom."

Friday, Feb. 21, 1992

     I decided to watch a tape yesterday aft. and cleaned up in the living room some while Ez. was taking her nap. She went to bed about 8:30 last night but woke up a couple of times. The second time I got her up to rock her. She almost fell asleep once then just started fighting me. She wasn't crying so I just laid her down and when I checked on her a few minutes later she was asleep. I don't remember getting up with her overnight and I think she woke up around 7:30. I took a nap when she did this morning. This aft. I vacuumed downstairs right after lunch, except for where Ez. was sitting. I had washed the tablecloth we have under her chair but crumbs had accumulated before I got it back down. I decided to try something different. I'd been just scooting her up to the table without putting the tray on. Today I folded down that end of the table and put the tray on, scooting it up to the table. I had to scoot her back a little cause she was kicking the end piece & making it bounce & bang. She thought it was neat to have the tray there; I guess she doesn't remember it. I'm not sure if this idea is going to work. We may need to go back to our original plan of using the tray and sitting her beside me, at the corner of the table.

     She went down for her aft. nap at 3:00 & Guy got home about 3:30. She woke up not long after that. She went to bed at 8:00 and I didn't hear a peep out of her until Guy came upstairs. (He was downstairs flipping while I was watching the Olympics.) I'd gone in to check on her and put the blanket on her and Guy turned the sink on full blast. She started stirring and I came back & asked if he had to turn the water on so loud. He said he couldn't control the volume. I'm sure that's what woke her up. He got her back to sleep after a few minutes of walking her. Hopefully she'll sleep all night.

     Sue called last night to say Harold would be having surgery this morning to repair that artery. She called around 11:30 this morning to say the surgery went ok. He'll be in ICU tonight and go home in a few days. She asked if I'd call Daddy so I did. I tried to keep it short but I'm not sure how long we talked. He remembered Harold was having surgery but he didn't remember when or why, I'm afraid he's getting worse. He knows he is though. I just hope he doesn't end up like Mom.

"KNOCK ON WOOD"

Thursday, Feb. 20, 1992

     Elizabeth's been sleeping fairly well. I got up with her once night before last & had to stay & pat her behind til she went back to sleep. I don't remember getting up with her last night but I woke up for no apparent reason at 3:46 this morning & didn't go back to sleep til after Guy left at 5:30. Then Ez. woke up at 6:10 and I had to rock her back to sleep for about an hour this morning when she took her nap. I'm so glad she's taking longer naps now. (KNOCK ON WOOD) Sometimes she still fights going to sleep in the first place but in general it's getting better.

     Guy got off at 11:30 yesterday. He said the whole ship gets Wed. aft. off when the CO feels like it and the ops dept. gets Fri. aft. off when the division officer feels like it. He was told yesterday that when they're underway he will be the acting communications officer. That means that he'll stand his watches on the bridge instead of in radio. He's not too happy about that cause he figures he'll make a lot of mistakes since it's an officer's job. It'll look good on his record though. And he said he's already started working on his ESWAs. I don't know what that stands for but it's something he should've gotten a long time ago and he quit working on it when things started going bad on the Radford. Anyway, once he gets that and with the comm. thing and his straight 4.0 evils the last time, surely he'll make chief this time. I think it's his best chance ever but I'm afraid something will happen to mess things up.

     After my story yesterday I went out to run errands. I went over to pick up my Sudafed prescription. Guy had turned it in Tues. – I had called last week to ask Dr. Lazarus to mail it to me. I'd thought I'd have enough to last til my next appt. but it was my last refill.

     I signed up for an infant & child CPR class on the base. It's through the Red Cross & it cost $22.00. It's on March 14. I have to read the book before class – it's about 1" thick. It's an all day Sat. class so I was waiting to find out what Guy's duty schedule would be like.

     I went to Wal-Mart to pick up our developed pictures from xmas. They turned out really good. I wish we'd taken more pictures when we were at Nick & Tina's but I forgot the new roll and had to save some for Mt. Vernon. I'm surprised we don't take more videos and pictures of Ez. than we do.

     I'd asked Guy if we could afford to get something for Barb Leland's birthday today cause she won't ever let us pay her for keeping Ez. He said $10 would be ok. I went to the Crafters Mall to find something & just decided to get a gift certificate so she could decide. I went by her house to give it to her & she seemed really please with it. I stayed & talked to her too long. Wal-Mart was my last stop and the traffic was bad before I got home. Didn't get back til nearly 5:00. Guy went running while I fixed supper & fed Ez. After the news he went to the grocery store. When he got back Ez. was ready for bed. He gave her her bottle while I took a shower. He went ahead & put her to bed so I could watch ice skating. The women's competition started last night & finishes tomorrow night.

     Ez. went down for her nap a few minutes ago. I'm debating whether to take a nap myself or try to catch up on tape watching. I have to remember to take out the trash tonight.

"...all the way from Japan!"

Tuesday, February 18, 1992

     Ez. woke me up at 10 til 7 but stayed happy til 7:30. She didn't go down for a nap til 10:30 then slept til 12:45. This aft. she didn't go to sleep til a little after 3:00. I finally woke her up at 5:30. Guy put her to bed at 9:00 & so far so good.

     I spent most of the day trying to fill in the info in the family tree book. I bought it at Waldenbooks a couple of years ago but never got around to doing it. I thought if I filled it out I could just make copies of it to send to Philip. As much info as I do have, there's a lot more missing. I need to write Donna (Guy's aunt) & see if she can give me any more info. I also need to get all the info on Guy's brothers & sister & their kids. I really wish I'd gone over to the Mormon place to do some research before Ez. was born cause I know I won't be able to do it with her now. 

     We got a package today from the Luttrells – all the way from Japan. It was for Ez. There was a beautiful cross-stitched pillow for the tooth fairy. The other thing was a cute fabric house. The door and one side of the roof open up (velcro) and inside are little stuffed dolls of Goldilocks and the 3 Bears. They're adorable. Ez. likes them because they're just the right size for her to hold on to. It's just so cute. They're supposed to be back for a visit to bring Danny to start at ODU this fall.

     I put the bumper pads back in the crib tonight to see if it would keep Ez. from throwing her pacifiers overboard.

"Still haven't seen her doing it."

Monday, February 17, 1992

     I thought of what else I wanted to write. Week before last Guy cashed 5 more bonds so we could make the car payment & pay the rest of this month's bills. He says the money won't be as tight once his sea pay starts. That should come on his next check. He's having his part of his pay go into direct deposit now. Once the sea pay starts it'll be retroactive so it'll be awhile before we know exactly what amount his pay will be every time. Hopefully we won't be having to cash in bonds any more.

     I completely forgot to say that Sue called Sat. while we were out to say Harold was in the hospital. She called again that night to give us more details. Tues. when he went to work when he said good morning to one of his workers it came out all mumbly. He went & looked in the mirror & the left side of his face was drooping down. It lasted either 15 or 45 minutes but was gone by the time he got to the dr. He felt fine but they put him in the hospital to do a bunch of tests. They didn't find anything til today. She called around 5:30. They ran the dye from his elbow through his neck. On the right side where the artery in the neck divides, one side has some blockage and the other side has a pocket of some kind where the blood is pooling instead of going straight through. They're planning to do the dye test on his heart next but they haven't scheduled it yet. She's starting to worry now & I don't blame her. She was making a 3-way call from her office & had Judy on the other line. Susan was listening in on the phone that you can't talk on. After talking about Harold they were asking about Ez. & Guy's arm. I told Judy I'd written to Kirk before xmas about sending my xmas music to me but I never heard back from him. She said she'd mention it to him.

     Guy got home sometime between 8 & 8:30 this morning. I think I heard Ez. at 5 something & gave her her pacifier. Then she woke me up at 6:50. When I checked on her she looked like she might go back to sleep. She talked to herself off & on then I got up at 7:30 when she got louder. I slept with the air vent off so I could hear if the boogy man came. With that off, I didn't need the monitor on. I guess I slept good once I went to sleep. I watched TV til I got sleepy enough. I took a nap this aft. when Ez. did. She took good naps today. She would've probably slept longer this morning but Guy got the drill out to put the cabinet latches in the kitchen. After she got up he put them on the bathroom cabinets. We decided to wait about putting any on the drawers.

     She was sitting up when I got her after her aft. nap. Still haven't seen her doing it.

     Guy went to the Community Assoc. board meeting tonight. He volunteered for the architectural control committee. They meet twice a month. It started at 7:00 & he was home by 8:30.

     Carol Wilson came over this afternoon to bring her Current order & payment. It was hard to find anyone to get an order together this time. It's just Carol & Gayle Hardison & me.

"That doesn't mean I like doing it all alone."

Sun. Feb. 16, 1992

     Seems like the more I feel the need to write, the less time I have to write.

     Thursday night Ez. woke up at midnight & wouldn't go back to sleep. She was ok til I scooted her down, then she started screaming. I couldn't get her back to sleep. Guy tried awhile then had to go to sleep so I had to take over. She didn't got to sleep til 2:30. She didn't scream the whole time, just whenever we laid her down. I don't remember what all we did but she finally went to sleep when I was rocking her til she was good & sound asleep before I put her down. She slept til 8:44 Friday morning.

     I'd made some sugar cookie dough Thu. night while Guy was giving Ez. her bath. It was supposed to chill at least an hour so I figured it'd be easier to make the dough then & back the cookies the next morning. Thank goodness she went down for her nap without too much fuss. (She slept from 10:30-12:00) The cookies weren't as easy as I thought they'd be. First I rolled the dough too thin and I couldn't get them off the waxed paper without tearing them up. So I had to start over. I'd ended up having to roll the dough between two layers of waxed paper to keep it from cracking at the edges. I was just finishing cleaning up while the last batch was baking when Ez. woke up. I made them in heart shapes with red sugar on top. I made a smaller one for Ez. & she liked it.

     When I was fixing out lunch, Guy came home. He brought me a potted flower – the tag says it's a dwarf azalea and can be put indoors or out. I was trying to think where we could plant it – it's pink so it would clash with the bushes in front of the porch. But Guy said we should keep it inside. Hopefully I can keep it alive. I'd told him he didn't have to get me pink roses cause I know we can't afford it right now. It sure would be nice tho.

     He said they're supposed to get Friday afternoons off but he might not always. We took a nap when Ez. did but he started snoring so I only slept about 40 minutes. I didn't want to poke him & wake him up cause I knew he was really tired. I don't remember how long Ez. slept. We got him up at 4:00 though cause he'd said he wanted to go running. We were supposed to go to a Sweetheart Mystery Dinner at the building at 7:00. Guy said there'd be baby-sitting available. It was Ryan Bailey and Amber Forsythe in charge of the babies (they're only about 12 years old.) and Crutch in charge of the older kids. They needed more help. They gave Ez. a honey graham cracker. (She's not supposed to have honey til she's 2.) She didn't have a bib so she got her clothes all messy. I'd told Crutch to give her a bottle at 8:00. (He was the only one there when we got there & I didn't know how it was going to be.) I went a little after 8:00 to see if they were giving it to her or not & they weren't. I was trying to tell them around the edge of the door without her seeing me but she started crying worse after she saw me. So I went ahead & started giving her her bottle. Ryan was holding Lauren Wilson and Amber had Alma Carter but she was taking her to Crutch so when Amber got back I gave Ez. to her to give her her bottle & she started crying. I hated to leave but I knew I had to. When I went to check on her after I finished eating, she was with Crutch in the kitchen doorway with the tail of her onesie hanging out. I asked who'd changed her & Crutch said he had. I took her to the nursery & put her sleeper on then took her & her bottle in back with me. She fell asleep on the way home & this is the first time I remember her not waking up when Guy brought her in from the car. I don't remember now how late she slept Sat. – at least 8:00 I think.

     Now, to backtrack. We were getting ready to go to the dinner. I was in the bathroom putting on my makeup. Guy had Ez. on the bed with him. All of a sudden I heard a big bump & Ez. started screaming. She rolled off the end of the bed. Guy got to her before I did & he wouldn't let me have her. I hate it when he won't let me hold her when she's hurt. I asked him what she hit and he said her bottom hit first then her head fell back. I asked him what he was doing & he said putting his socks on. I asked him why he wasn't watching her & he said he was – she was right behind him when he sat down & before he knew it she was at the end. He told me not to worry, that she was ok, and that she's going to fall off the bed & other things & I said not if you watch her. He said he was sorry more than once but I was still upset when we left. We haven't talked about it since then.

     It rained most of the day yesterday. We went to Baby Superstore & Wal-Mart yesterday. We got some cabinet latches, a cup for her to drink from, a set of teethers in the shape of a hand & a foot, a mirror you can clip on your visor to see in the back seat, just misc. stuff – I looked through the clearance racks at B.S. and got her some blue jeans for $10. I think they have an elastic waist but the legs snap which is the main thing. They're 24 mos. so they should last awhile.

     Guy just called to see how we're doing. They took him off the watch bill so he should be able to get some sleep tonight – if he can find a rack. They don't have an empty one to assign to him yet.

     Ez. took her nap after eating as soon as we got home yesterday aft. We caught up a little bit on our tape watching. Then I felt rushed the rest of the evening. Ez. was getting tired & cranky so I had to miss the last half of Star Trek trying to get her to sleep. She really fought it. I was going to let her just cry herself to sleep while I was folding laundry. Guy finally came up & asked if I wanted him to get her. I said that would defeat the purpose of trying to get her to go to sleep on her own. I forgot what all he said but I finally said go ahead & get her. So it was Daddy to the rescue again, making Mommy out to be the bad guy. I did dishes & made bottles & did books before coming upstairs. It was after 10:00 by then and they finally had the ice skating men's finals on so I watched that. Then I still had to wash my hair but I wasn't about to sit under the dryer for an hour that late. I have no idea what time Ez. went to sleep. As far as I remember, she didn't wake up overnight.

     She woke up about 10 til 8:00 this morning. I didn't have time to give her anything but a bottle. It was about 9:05 when we got to class. She did good in class, took a bottle of juice during church and slept for 30 minutes. She ate a good lunch & didn't fight too much for her nap. I slept for about an hour & she slept for over 2 hours. I was able to read yesterday's paper & do the crossword before she got up.

     I left Chief outside for the aft. cause it was such a nice day. He kept barking at some trash that was blowing around behind the fence.

     She started getting cranky around 7. I went ahead & put her pajamas on but held off on the bottle til 7:30. She didn't give me too much trouble brushing her teeth. But she fought going to bed. It took about 30 min. of alternating positions rocking & standing & swaying. She's stirred & cried a little twice but I just had to give her pacifier back & pat her bottom a couple of minutes. She was sideways while ago & I tried to just swing her legs back around without moving her too much. Hopefully she's out for the night now & we can both get a good night's sleep. Guy should be home around 8-8:30. He has tomorrow off for President's Day.

     I just thought of something – last night when Guy had her on the couch she was trying to put the pacifier in his mouth. She was doing that to me when I was rocking her tonight. In the past week I discovered that if you hold your hand out & ask her to give you something (whatever she's got in her hand) she will. She's been wanting to put her hands in her food bowl when we're feeding her. We were going to get her a bowl with a suction cup on the bottom but they didn't have one I liked at B.S. There's one at Farm Fresh I want to get. And she's finally getting good at chewing & swallowing – as long as it's not something she can smash in her hand before she ever gets it to her mouth. She's really gotten to like the givieback toast & the toddler cookies. But since she started those she doesn't like the rice cakes any more. I got some apple/cinnamon flavored ones but haven't tried those yet. She's had french fries & we put ketchup on one last time. She seemed to like it ok. Seems like there was something else I wanted to write about but I can't think of what it was. I need to get some sleep anyway. I hope I don't have any trouble getting to sleep. This is the first time Guy's been gone at night in about a year. I guess today went pretty good for the most part. That doesn't mean I like doing it all alone.

February 14, 1992