"That weekend was one of the happiest times of my life."

Thursday, May 30, 1991

     I don't remember how long we were in the room before they brought me supper.  I think Guy went to the cafeteria to get something?  I was hungry though.  A nurse told me how to use a squirt bottle to rinse myself after going to the bathroom.  There were some nylon wipes to use instead of toilet paper and she said to blot instead of wiping.  The first time I went to the bathroom it kind of burned.  I was afraid one of my stitches had come loose & asked the nurse to check them.  She said my stitches were fine, that it was probably the hemorrhoids that were bothering me.  "Hemorrhoids!?" I said.  "How'd I get those!?"  She said it was from all the pushing during labor & delivery.  Nobody ever said anything about getting hemm's from pushing.  I even looked it up in my books later and it only talks about getting them during pregnancy, nothing about from pushing.

     Anyway, they gave me some Tucks and some cream (prescription-strength Anusol) and some spray to use on them.  But they still hurt a lot.

     I still had the IV going with pitocin to help my uterus contract and shrink.  It felt kind of like big menstrual cramps.  I didn't ask for anything for the pain until late that night.

     We were anxious to see Elizabeth again but they weren't going to be bringing her til it was time for the 8:30 feeding.  After supper, Guy said he couldn't wait and got the card to go to the nursery to see her.  (You had to show a special card at the window for them to bring the baby over to look at.)  He was gone for quite a while and when he came back he was all excited.  He said, "You won't believe the hair she's got!  It's blonde and it's down past her ears!"  I wanted to see for myself but I sure didn't want to walk all the way down to the nursery.  But I started getting really anxious to see her & about 8:30 I told Guy to go see if they were coming yet.  But I told him to leave the door open and stay where I could see him.  It seemed like forever before he said they were starting to bring the babies and forever more before Elizabeth finally came.  The nurse said "every time someone brings or picks up the baby they'll check your bracelet and hers to see if they match and you need to check the nurse's ID when she comes to get the baby."  They brought the babies every four hours for feeding - 12:30, 4:30, & 8:30.  I had rooming-in during the day and had them keep her in the nursery at night.  But I'm getting sidetracked.

     They rolled her in in what they called a bassinet.  It was about the same height or a little higher than the bed.  She was all bundled up in a blanket, not a whole lot like right after delivery.  She had a little knit cap on her head.  She was asleep & she looked so beautiful - like a little angel.  First thing we did after the nurse left was take off her cap & blanket.  There was so much hair on her head & all blonde!  I was so surprised.  I'd been hoping she'd have red hair but figured it'd be dark like mine.  So blonde hair was quite a shock.  And it was so long - down over her ears a little like Guy had said.  A lot of it was sticking up instead of laying down on her head.

     We checked her fingers and toes again.  When I'd looked at her footprints the nurse had put in her baby book, it looked like her second toe was longer than her big toe, just like Guy's.  I'd said "oh no!"  So I had to look at them in person to see for myself.  And sure enough, she had her daddy's toes.  But her fingers were all long like mine.  And her arms & legs were long & skinny like mine.  She definitely looked like a Jones in the face though.  I don't think she woke up at all that first time.  I did try to nurse her then but she wasn't interested enough to wake up.  They came to get her at 9:30.

     Guy helped me go to the bathroom then get settled in bed before he left.  We were both exhausted.  I asked for my pain medication and the nurse brought me two Tylenol 3.  That's the one I took after the D&C and after hurting my muscle coughing, and gave me nightmares.  But there were no nightmares this time.  It just knocked me out cold.  I think I took it again after they'd brought her & picked her up overnight.

     That weekend was one of the happiest times of my life.  Every time I looked at Elizabeth I felt like I was living in a dream.  The thing I had dreamed of for all these years was finally a reality.  It just didn't seem possible and yet there I was holding my very own baby in my arms.  She didn't look as bad as I thought she would, having had the for ceps.  And her head wasn't cone shaped from the pressure of pushing.  She was just beautiful.  And apparently she was healthy too.  They said her blood was A+ like Guy's.  

     Every time they brought her to me at night and every few hours during the day, I tried to nurse her. She would get a few good sucks & then either fall asleep or get fussy and not want to even try nursing.  But whenever I asked a nurse about it she'd tell me not to worry about it because babies have a supply of "brown fat" when they're born that they can live on for the first few days, until your milk comes in.  So I didn't worry - until Sun. night.

     I could tell that aft. that my milk was starting to come in and by the time they brought her in for the 12:30am feeding I was engorged.  I told the nurse I needed some help with nursing and she said she'd be back after she finished taking babies around.

     I had asked the nurse (I think it was the same one) that brought her the very first time if they'd given her a bottle in the nursery.  She said they give all the babies sugar water in a bottle to be sure they can suck & swallow properly.  I still wonder if she'd've nursed without any problems if she hadn't had that bottle first.

     When that nurse came back she helped me try to get Elizabeth to latch on but said I was too engorged.  She asked how the nursing had been going before the milk came in and I told her she'd hardly done it at all.  She said "if she hasn't had anything since I was here Friday night she needs to get something cause she hasn't had anything in the nursery."

     She went & got a manual breast pump & helped me pump enough to get some relief, then I gave Elizabeth the milk in the bottle.  The pumped milk would drain right into the bottle, then you removed the pump part & put on the nipple of the bottle.  She didn't have any problem taking the bottle.  I didn't really want to do that because I was afraid it would ruin my chances of nursing her.  But like the nurse said, I couldn't let her starve.  She said if I needed to I could come down to the nursery and use an electric pump.