"I'm not sure if I'm ready to relax yet"

Mon. Oct. 15, 1990

     Well, Friday was 12 weeks so we're past the point where we lost the first baby.  I'm not sure if I'm ready to relax yet though.  Sometimes I feel like I'm starting to feel better.  There are even moments when I feel like my normal, non-pregnant self.  Mainly when I don't feel nauseous or exhausted.  The nausea is better but it still seems like I can't eat a whole lot without feeling stuffed.  My weight was back up to 107 Sat. so that's good.  Like I was telling Guy when he called at lunch today, I don't feel real tired like I have been but I don't feel like I've got a lot of energy either.  I thought about trying to take over the cooking again but haven't tried it yet.  I'm starting to feel guilty about not doing any housework.  I cleaned off the dining table & coffee table today, kind of.  I feel like I ought to do more sometimes but I'm just so afraid of overdoing it.  Maybe in the next few weeks I'll start to get some energy back.  My next OB appt. is a week from today.
     Becky Kinder called last night.  She's been in the hospital again, for her sinuses this time.  She said they've been having to remove mucous plugs from them about every 3 months and now they're talking about doing surgery to fill them with fat or muscle tissue to prevent the mucous from forming.  She said that they'd have to expose grey matter to do it so she's not sure if she will.  She also may need to have gall bladder surgery but she wants to wait til Dr. Lazarus gets back for that.  She said Dr. L is supposed to be gone for 6 mos. & Dr. Calloway is the best to see while she's gone.  He's the one I've talked to on the phone.  Six mos. means Dr. L will be gone til March.  I sure wish she was gone any other time except while I'm pregnant.