Friday, August 17, 1990
My pregnancy test yesterday came back positive. I was surprised because I was sure that dr. had messed everything up. I've been going up & down, mostly down. I think that no matter what I do or don't do, I'll lose this one just like the first time. This is all my mom wrote down the day after she found out she was pregnant with me. She wasn't very optimistic that the pregnancy would be successful, because the previous year she had had a miscarriage. Because it took her nearly ten years to get pregnant the first time, she was always sure that God just did not want her to have children. But she said in previous entries that she knew it was her purpose, she knew she was supposed to be a mom.
I will never forget how sad Ellen was over that miscarriage then how happy....yet worried she was about her pregnancy. You were and are such a blessing!
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