"I just cried & cried & cried."

Fri. March 29, 1991 (Part 3)

     Tues. aft. (3/26) I went to Cathy Rudolph's house for her breastfeeding class.  I'd been wanting to go the past couple of months.  She has it the 3rd Sat. morn. of each month.  One month I was sick & one month she or her boys were so sick she didn't have it.  So she said she'd give me a private class.  I was planning to go that week right after I hurt my muscle/rib but called her to see if we could do it this week & she said ok.  She'd loaned me a book from the LaLeche League & I read the first 7 chapters in that.  She gave me all the handouts she usually gives out and we went through the outline.  She had a doll to demonstrate how to hold the baby.  I was there from 1-3:15 so we covered a lot of information.  They have a really nice, roomy house in a nice neighborhood with a big front yard & a huge back yard.  She also gave me a couple of other books to read about parenting.

     Wed. (3/27) I had a 9:00 non-stress test & 9:30 appt. with Dr. Lehew.  (Dr. Rand had said the week before that he was taking some time off cause his wife had had her baby.  I'd heard that the week before & found out that his wife is the other nutritionist!)  I was hoping to see Dr. Puritz cause she's the only one I haven't seen yet.  But they said her appts. were full.  I'd like Dr. Lehew so that's who I asked for & he was open.

     Anyway, it was Bonnie who did the non-stress test this time.  She's nice.  I was late getting there so they'd already taken the next person.  So that made me late for the dr. & I guess they just worked me back in to the middle of the other patients.  So I was about an hour late to see him.  On those scales I had lost a pound but I think those scales had said less the other time I was on them.  (I left a message for Marian telling her that but she never called so I guess she's not worried about me.)

     Dr. Lehew said there was no change from last time.  I told him that Dr. Baker had said he'd be glad to be on standby when the baby comes.  He knows him.

     That afternoon I decided I wanted to go ahead and use the breast shields anyway.  Cathy had said to wash them in soapy water then boil them for five minutes.  So I washed them & put them on the stove.  I went back to the living room - I couldn't & still can't remember if I was letting Chief in or out, or just checking on my story.  But whatever, I just got myself comfortable on the couch and forgot all about them.  As near as I can tell, it was about 45 min. later when I heard this cracking noise coming from the kitchen.  I got up to go investigate and as I stood up I realized what it was so I ran in there.  All the water was gone from the pot and all the pieces were melted down flat and looked scorched in places.  I grabbed the pan off the burner & set it on one of the covers & turned the burner off and the exhaust fan on.  There wasn't any smoke but I could smell the scorched smell a little.  I was so upset.  I just cried & cried & cried.  Guy had called to say he should be home about 2:30 so I was waiting & wanting him to be home right then.  I had calmed down some by the time he did get home by watching the rest of my story I'd taped Mon. & Tues.  But when I started trying to explain it to him I just started crying again & couldn't stop.  Part of it was that they weren't mine, they were Cathy's, and I didn't know her well enough to know how she'd react; I was scared to tell her; it was scary to think I could have set the house on fire; I felt so stupid for doing it  Guy just held me for awhile & told me I wasn't stupid and said he'd call Cathy & tell her what happened and that we'd pay her for them.  She wasn't home & he left a message on the machine.  But she didn't call back til Thu. morning.  I'll tell about that later.

     After I started feeling better I went with Guy to get a new headlight for the truck & some wipers too.  Chief & I sat out front and watched.  The wipers were the wrong size so he'll have to take them back.

     Our Lamaze class met at the hospital that night.  We got to go in a labor/delivery/recovery room.  It's a lot different than I had pictured.  It doesn't look like an operating room but more like a regular room.  There's a special bed that looks pretty regular, a regular chair, a rocking chair, a place for them to clean & check the baby, a bathroom with a shower, a TV.  There are outlets behind the bed for oxygen & everything and around the partition are the closet and shelves full of medical supplies & equipment.  If you have to have a c-section they wheel you to an operating room.  Otherwise you stay in this room for at least an hour after delivery before going to a regular room.  You're allowed one other visitor besides your husband during labor & delivery.  I don't know if I want anyone else there for the actual delivery but maybe sometimes during labor.  We'll see.

     After we finished the tour we all walked over to Jenkins Hall, a long walk, where we'd gone for the memorial service in November.  We went in a classroom & Janice talked some and had us practice the pattern paced breathing.  We divided into groups and had to come up with a list of things that mother can do for herself and things that father can do for her.  She had asked us each for a number from one to ten & added them up.  That was the number of things we had to think of.  It took awhile but we did it.  My group had 3 men & 3 women.  Guy was the only man in his group.  After that we watched a tape about three different couples going through labor & delivery.  None of them had any complications and all of them had boys.  We were late getting out of there. 

To Be Continued...