"I'm afraid it's going to be the longest two years of my life."

Saturday, August 1, 1992

     Guy left yesterday morning. I started crying about it on Wed. cause he had duty that day. He was supposed to get Thu. aft. off but it was between 2:30–3:00 before he got home. I wish we hadn't left so much til the last minute. We got most everything done but we were up til 11:00. It was mostly stuff that I couldn't do myself. I had to go to the bank to get him some money for his trip. I was waiting for the mailman so I could deposit my allotment too but he didn't come til after Guy got home and then my check wasn't there. Guy wanted me to go ahead & get his money so he could spend time with Ez. but he put her down for a nap soon after I left.

     We also ended up going over to Farm Fresh together. I hadn't realized I didn't have enough TV dinners to last from the time he left til I go to the commissary again. First I told him I'd go with Ez. after supper & he could get the mowing done while we were gone. Then I remembered I'd told Ez. the last time we were at Farm Fresh & she saw a little girl riding the mechanical pony out front that when Guy got home we'd come over and let her ride it. She wasn't sure about it at first but once we reassured her a few times she started liking it. It cost 25 cents and it seemed like a pretty long ride.

     Anyway, while we were waiting for the mailman, I trimmed Guy's hair. Other things he did were trim Chief's nails, get the baby swing out of the closet, vacuum, set up the Travel Tender, and we both made a cassette tape for Ez., singing Old MacDonald. Some of this we did while she was still napping & some was after we got back from Farm Fresh. But he also wanted to give her a bath one more time & to be the one to put her to bed. He said he was talking to her and she was just looking at him til her eyes got too heavy & he laid her down. She stood up as usual but didn't cry when he left.

     I know it must be hard for him to leave her but he really doesn't show it. I spoiled the end of the evening by starting to cry. We had a long talk with him doing most of the talking & me doing all of the crying. He just kept telling me that he thought I could handle everything if I just take it one day at a time, telling me what to do if certain things happen. He makes it all around so easy but I know it's not. It's hard enough for me to get things done when he's here to help me. I'll just try to take it one day at a time like he said. I don't know if I've mentioned it before but they're only supposed to be in for 2 days before they go out for another week or so. They're going to be in & out so much the rest of the year. Guy said some of the outings may be cancelled because 'they' may tell her there's not enough money for so many times. I sure hope so. I don't think the captain has any sympathy at all for families because she doesn't have any kids. Guy said she's got less than a year left on the ship but the next captain is a woman too. He keeps saying how it's just two more year. (as of Sept.) I'm afraid it's going to be the longest two years of my life.

     It was just so hard to say goodbye yesterday. He got Ez. out of the car for a few minutes & we just all stood there holding each other. After he put her back in and took me back around to get in I didn't want to let him go. He kissed me again through the window & said goodbye. I thought he'd stay there til I left. I was blowing my nose & wiping my eyes and when I looked around, he'd already gone through the gate and was halfway to the pier. He didn't even look back. That hurt me so much & started me to crying again. I don't think I sat there too much longer before starting the car & leaving. I missed my turn & went to the other end of the piers & had to turn around & come back. I cried off & on all the way home and all day & night; it gradually got less but now that I'm wring all this I'm starting again.

     I've already written him over four pages. I guess I'm going to be doing a lot of writing between him & my journal.

     We stayed busy yesterday. Ez. slept 8:30–10:45 yesterday & I slept about an hour. We ran errands. I had to take Guy's ACC paperwork by the office. He'd gone down there Thu. aft. but they were closed early because of a duck emergency. We took the old phone books to the recycling bin, went to the Wonder store, and went to Office Warehouse to get new ribbons for the CUP. They've been bought out by Office Max and everything's being redone in the store.

     Ez. took a nap after lunch & when she got up we checked the mail & my check was there so we went to the credit union. We went inside cause I needed dimes and I used the stroller. It wasn't as crowded as I thought it would be. Traffic was bad though.

     She went to bed with no problem. She'd had two very loose poops & had a low fever—100.5—so I gave her some Tylenol. She slept straight through the night til 7:45 this morning! 11.5 hrs!

     Soon after she went to sleep it started storming & she slept through the whole thing. Chief was real whiny though so I stayed downstairs til I was sure it was all over—about 10:00. I got the bills all paid then finished the books this morning. The money's down to $116 but everything's paid til the 15th except diapers and my trip to the commissary next week, which shouldn't be too much.

     We took the bills to the mailbox and strolled down to get the newspaper out of the box at the street corner. It was windy but the sun was very bright—I kept moving the stroller handle to keep her from facing the sun. She had some juice then I put her down for a nap. I was almost asleep 20 min. later when she started crying. I checked her diaper & it was ok so I told her to lay down & go to sleep. & I guess she did. But I couldn't go to sleep then so I decided to write awhile. It's been just over an hour now. If I try to sleep now she'll probably wake up. It's lunch time anyway.

July 30, 1992