"I was shaking so bad and crying cause I felt like I'd almost lost her..."

Friday, Feb. 28, 1992

     Wed. night was a very rough night. I don't know what time it was or how long Ez. had been crying but I didn't even hear her. I woke up as Guy was getting out of bed. He went ahead and took her first then I tried awhile then finally we gave her a bottle of juice and she went back to sleep. It was 2:35 when Guy came back to bed. We found out she's trying to cut a molar on the bottom right side. It felt a little less close to the surface tonight than it did last night. She wouldn't let us rock her the usual ways. Whenever she'd lay her head down it probably hurt her jaw. I finally laid her down on her back on my lap and she went to sleep after I rocked her a few minutes. It was hard on my arms and hands though having to hold on to her legs to keep her from sliding down. She didn't take good naps yesterday or today but she did sleep through the night last night. Would've been nice except I couldn't get back to sleep after Guy left.

     He had to work late yesterday cause they were having fire drills. I don't know why they had to schedule them at quitting time. I was getting really upset cause he was supposed to go to the post office and grocery store on the way home but he hadn't taken the stuff to mail. I started thinking about how being on the ship is going to be just as bad an experience as SIMA. I'd been kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was just in a bad mood anyway cause I started yesterday morning. Then Guy being late and Mary Sembra was coming over at 7:00.

     Then when Ez. was eating supper she started choking on her cookie. She was able to cough it up. But she did it again a little bit later and it seemed like she wasn't able to get it up. I was patting her on the back and trying to get her out of her seat and she finally coughed it up along with a lot of applesauce. I took the cookie away from her then and tried to clean her up. I was shaking so bad and crying cause I felt like I'd almost lost her and I panicked and didn't know what to do. That's why I want to take that class, so I will be able to handle it. When I told Guy he asked if I'd read the class book yet and I told him I hadn't gotten to that part. I read it this morning when I couldn't get back to sleep. But it made me cry to think about what if I couldn't do it. I didn't giver her anything but Cheerios to feed herself today. No problems.

     Meanwhile, my throat started getting irritated last night & was sore this morning. I've been eating pretzels and Hall's cough drops all day. My throat is a little better but just in the last few minutes the right side of my nose started stopping up. I took Robitussin last night and tonight so coughing won't keep me up. I guess I need to up my sudafed and start the cipro in the morning. I don't know why she gave me a "double order" of it last time. It's more convenient to take tablets than use the nebulizer but I hate getting a yeast infection from the tablets. Maybe I'll try eating yogurt and see if that keeps it from happening. When Ez. first got her runny nose we figured she caught a cold from someone in class Sun. Then we decided it was only because of her tooth, so I didn't figure I could catch it from her. But I guess I did. 

     We went to the credit union and the post office after her morning nap. She did real good. I used the stroller both times cause I knew I couldn't carry her and stand in line. 

     It's 11:30 now. At 10:46 I heard this kind of knocking noise. I thought it was on TV at first but I still heard it when I turned the sound off the TV. It was my jewelry box and the candle holder on top of the dresser vibrating. I felt of the dresser and could feel it vibrating too. I went to check on Ez. and everything seemed ok in there. When I got back in here it wasn't doing it any more. That happened once a few years ago & Guy wasn't home then either. But he said it was probably a tiny tremor. Not a comforting thought. I hope it doesn't happen again.

     Mary Sembra came over to talk about the Singles Group. Things are finally falling apart. I'm surprised the Pugh's didn't keep it up when they took over from us. Mary's the only girl who participates and she tries to motivate the guys to be leaders but none of them want to take initiative. The Johnstons are wanting to be the next sponsors but they haven't talked to the elders about it. Mary said they told her they wouldn't come to the monthly fellowships because the singles didn't need anyone to hold their hands. I don't know if we did any good besides just letting Mary get some things off her chest. She caught us up on news too. Merry Gallahar is pregnant again. I asked Guy later whey he thought she didn't tell us. He said maybe she still thought I didn't like her. I asked if she said that to him or someone else and he said no. It's not that I don't like her. I just feel awkward about us being pregnant at the same time and I lost my baby and she didn't.