This is my 100th blog post!

This is my 100th blog post!!!

     In honor of this milestone, I just wanted to take a minute to thank everyone who has ever taken the time to read any of my posts. I started this blog a little over two years ago, and I never imagined it would be so well-received. Since starting this blog, overall it has had over 5,000 views. I've even had viewers read it from outside the United States. People in places like Russia, Germany, Australia, the U.K., France, Canada, Romania, Latvia, & Poland are even reading my blog, and on a pretty regular basis too! I never would have thought this blog could be successful internationally, but it is!

     This blog means more to me than anyone could possibly imagine. Yes, I do have memories of my mom. She didn't die until I was 6. I have pretty clear memories all the way back to when I was 2. So I never didn't remember my mom. But what 6 year old is capable of actually knowing their mother? That's what these journals have been to me. I've had numerous people tell me as I was growing up what my mom was like, but these journals have been the key to me knowing my mom as a person. It helps me see in what ways we were alike and in what ways we were different. And it makes me want to be an amazing mother one day.

     So thank you ALL who have read these posts up to this point! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!

Tuesday, January 28, 1992

     Yesterday was Mom's 78th birthday. I sent her a card last week even though I know she won't know the difference. When I was rocking Ez. to sleep Sun. night I was talking to her about Mom - how I wish she could have known her before she got sick. How I hope Daddy will stay well so that she'll get old enough to remember him that way, cause I can only remember Papa as a sick old man.

     I never really had figured it up until now how old of kids we'd have now if we'd been able to get pregnant according to the way we'd planned things. Our oldest would have been 9 yrs. old this month. We started seriously trying in April 1982 which would've made the baby due in January 1983. Then we would've tried again between his going to school in CA and going to the Persian Gulf in 1985 and that baby would've come in Jan. '86. If we'd waited til he got back from that cruise, it wouldn't have been born til May '86. So the second one would be 5&1/2 or 6. We would've tried again after his S. American cruise which ended just before xmas '87. That baby would've been born in Sept. or Oct. '88 & be 3 yrs. old now. Then we would've tried again while he was on shore duty & probably have aimed for having that baby in June '91, making it 6 mo. old now.

     It's practically impossible to imagine having that many kids or any that old now. Life as we know it now would not be remotely the same. And I'd probably feel twice as old as I feel now.

     Of course, if we hadn't lost the first baby, it would've been born in June '90 & be 19 months old now. But we probably wouldn't have Elizabeth now if the other baby had been ok because we wouldn't have been trying again with it only 2 mos. old.

     I know it doesn't do any good to wonder about how things might have been. I don't think about it as often as I used to. I'm just so thankful that we do have Elizabeth now & that she's healthy & growing even though she's growing too fast.

     I figured out when I was in college that the older you get, the faster time goes by. But since Ez. was born it seems like the days are flying by.

     Sat. was a nice day. Ez. took long naps in the morning and afternoon. We rented & watched two movies. Robin Hood (w/Kevin Costner) and City Slickers. Both were pretty good but not as good as I'd expected. But it was nice to sit & snuggle on the couch, eating popcorn, watching the fireplace.

     I can't remember anything special happening on Sun. We stayed in yesterday - it was rainy & gloomy most of the day. The sun came out in the aft. & Guy took Chief for a walk. He didn't get to run around loose cause there were a lot of kids playing in the street.

     We rearranged the living room yesterday. We moved the end table at this end of the couch cause it's too easy for Ez. to pull it over. (It's a 3-legged table with a floor-length tablecloth.) We set the lamp on top of the piano, scooted the couch down in front of the end of the piano, moved the other end table along with the couch, and slid the word processor table into the space that created, making a little more room in the dining room. We took the books off the shelf unit and scooted it down to make room by the fireplace for the end table & lamps where the newspaper stacker was. The stacker is on the other side of the fireplace now with the chair moved out some. I don't like it sticking out as much as it is but Haven't figured out what to do about it yet. I put away my bunnies from the top of the bookcase, then put the plants on top of it. I'll have to start keeping the watering can under the kitchen sink again. Can't think of any other use for that table so we'll probably take it apart & put it away. The hard part is going to be keeping the coffee table cleared off. Even though Ez. isn't crawling or pulling up she rolls around quite a bit and has bumped that end table a couple of times. It's getting harder to keep her from getting Chief's toys. I found her on her play quilt yesterday with his booda bone in her lap. I don't know if he gave it to her or just left it within her reach. One thing he's started doing is taking his ball & dropping it in front of her. I don't understand that cause he knows she can't throw it for him without help. He always likes for us to fight him for the ball instead of "fetching". But if Ez. tries to get it from him he'll back off & let her have it. A few times I've sat in the floor with her on my lap & when she gets the ball I'll take her hand and help her throw it for him. (Guy finally trimmed Chief's nails yesterday so it doesn't sound like he's ripping up the carpet when he's running.)

     I think Ez. is starting to understand the word "no". I try not to say it too much. I'll also say "un uh", or "leave that alone" or "not for baby". It's mainly when she tries to get in the kitchen trash or in the diaper changing stuff downstairs. It's interesting to watch her reactions though. First I'll say her name & she'll stop & turn around & look at me. Then I'll say "no" or whatever & she'll look back & forth a time or two & then let go when I say something again. Then she'll do it again, same way. The third time after I say it I go & if she's still touching it, swat her hand, say it again & move her to a different spot. No fussing about it so far.